My darling boy, I have not forgotten you. I have not forgotten what it was like to hold you, so small, in that hospital blanket. Your little hands, so tiny but perfectly formed. Your little body - unfairly robbed of wholeness - unable to contain you and all that you had to bring to this world.
I think about what our life would look like if you had stayed with us just three short years ago - Would I have taken that new job? Would your room be in what is now our office? Would you be potty trained yet? Would we be constantly telling you to wipe your feet, say 'please', stop running, not yell inside? Would you be a snuggler? I think about how you'd make your sister giggle. My heart aches to hold you again.
This day is your day. It's the day you were born into this world and the day we said goodbye to you. It's a day of mourning and of celebrating. Your brief existence here had more impact than some ever have in an entire lifetime. I consider myself lucky to be your mom.
Joseph Nathanial, we miss you.